Shoes a mess, and a Duke as bored as me

Korean Veterans Day is observed on 27 July. It commemorates the signing of the Korean Armistice Agreement in 1953. Our long-standing member of the Forest Lake and Districts RSL Club, Victor Jones, is a veteran of that war.
Vic grew up in Brisbane and at 19 joined the Royal Australian Navy. He was assigned to HMAS Cerebus, the Australian Navy’s premier training facility near Melbourne. In October 1951 he was sent to join HMAS Bataan that had returned from Korea a few months earlier and was now in dry dock at Cockatoo Island, Sydney. In the approach to Christmas 1951, many of the crew went on leave. Vic and a few others stayed on board as the duty skeleton crew.
Vic, with a fellow radar operator named Max, were directed to work as stewards in the Officers Mess.
Vic tells the story:
“One morning the pay officer approached me and asked if I knew how to clean suede leather shoes. I answered in the negative. The officer suggested I support them one at a time above the hot water urn and gently rub the surface with a wire brush. Okay, I thought, that seems straightforward.
“When I came to do the job, I moved the lid to one side and balanced one shoe on the edge of the urn above the steaming water. Unfortunately, the lid tilted, and the shoe fell into a three-quarters-full urn of boiling water. ‘Bloody hell!’ I thought. ‘How can I get it out?’ I eventually repurposed a pair of salad forks, but by this time, the shoe had been boiling gently for about three minutes.
“Max suggested I pack it with newspaper. I gave the shoe a gentle rub with the wire brush and put it out in the sun to dry. Hours later the shoes were dry and looked in reasonable condition except the boiled one was slightly lighter.
“But the next morning it was obvious the shoes were no longer a pair. Over the intercom came these words: ‘Able Seaman Jones, report to the paymaster in his cabin immediately.’
“The conversation went something like this: ‘What the hell did you do to my shoes, Jones?’
‘It was just one sir, not shoes.’
‘So, you are a smart arse as well, are you, Jones?’
‘No sir, it was a complete accident, sir.’
‘Perhaps it was but tell me what you would do if they were your shoes?’
I thought carefully before answering.
‘I would probably drop the other shoe into the water also, sir.’ And suddenly, I felt brave enough to expand a little. ‘If you give it about two or perhaps three minutes at a gentle simmer it should come out about the same, sir.’
“Now I thought that was a perfectly reasonable answer, but by this time, the paymaster was fuming.
“The next day I was stood down from duties as a steward and allocated as a crew member on the captains’ motor launch, a position I held for the rest of my time on the Bataan.
“The morning after the shoe incident, Max and I prepared breakfast for the officers before I got the sack. As we made coffee, we noticed the water was a light golden colour. We said nothing, looked at each other and served the coffee just slightly weaker.”
On 8 January 1952, HMAS Bataan sailed for its second tour of duty in the Korean War. Vic was on board, and the captain was Commander Warwick Bracegirdle. The ship returned to Sydney after nine months in the Korean war zone. Vic described the action as disquieting.
Early in 1954 Vic was selected as one of the two representatives from the RAN appointed as personal escorts to the Queen and Prince Phillip during their visit. On one occasion he opened the door for the Duke of Edinburgh.
In Vic’s words: ‘Do you find this boring?’ the Duke asked. I didn’t answer, not knowing really what to say.
‘You can answer me,’ he said and repeated the question. ‘Yes, a little,’ I replied.
‘So do I.’ he sighed.
Vic’s duty at the RSL club includes sergeant-at-arms. He is responsible for order and extracting fines from the usually well-behaved members at meetings.
He follows the penalty session with a joke. Usually sounding risqué at the beginning, but in his telling of the story, becoming completely innocent, endorsed by a twinkle and a smile.